Can you help an old feller out..?

ya see, the missus has up and gone to town fer gowin on three day and I aint been yelld at er hen peckd er had a cookin pot throwed at me and well truth is Im feeling a bit prideful. itd sure mean a lot if ye could jus yell at me a lil bit or if ye gotta good arm throw summpin. I thank you in kind-Moses